Coming Together: Reimagining Holiday Connection

As we approach the end of another year, I find myself reflecting on the profound importance of community and belonging. In my clinical practice, I've witnessed how the holiday season stirs a deep longing for meaningful relationships, even as it sometimes highlights the gaps and disappointments in our familial bonds.

 
Coming Together as Community, blog post by Patricia Gianotti
 

This year has brought its share of challenges – global uncertainties, economic pressures, and the ongoing navigation of our increasingly digital world. Yet within these difficulties, I've observed remarkable instances of people uniting, supporting one another, and creating spaces of meaningful togetherness. In the aftermath of the election coupled with increasing climate change instability, there continues to be fear and uncertainty about the future. Although anxiety and depression typically increase around the holidays, there seems to be an added layer of uncertainty that runs the risk of immobilization and isolation.

The holiday season, with its invitation to gather and reflect, offers us a unique opportunity to redefine what belonging means in our lives. Coming together with others who are also searching for ways to make a difference, no matter how small, helps prevent hopelessness and depression around the holidays and into the new year. While traditional seasonal gatherings remain important, I've seen many people crafting new forms of kinship that better serve their emotional well-being. Some have created chosen families that transcend traditional boundaries. Others have found their tribe through shared interests or values, building bonds that sustain them throughout the year.

As a personal antidote to fear, anxiety, and melancholy, I find myself calling upon the wise counsel of Margaret Wheatly, author, sage, and well-known organizational consultant.  In her most recent book, Restoring Sanity:  Practices to Awaken Generosity, Creativity, and Kindness in Ourselves and Our Organizations, she talks about the importance of finding or creating “Islands of Sanity” around you.  Drawing strength from small groups of people who value compassion and kindness, we can create places of refuge, and find kindred spirits who will listen to us, offer valued perspective, and support to who we are at our deepest place of being.  Wheatley suggests that this is one of the ways to re-awaken the human spirit, provide hope and a steady ballast, as we face “life-destroying dynamics, policies, and behaviors that oppress and deny the human spirit.”  No matter what is happening around us, community connection that can provide an island of sanity is a practice worth initiating. 

As we look toward the new year, I encourage you to consider what genuine connection means for you. Perhaps it's about quality rather than quantity – focusing on relationships that nurture your authentic self rather than maintaining superficial ties out of obligation. Maybe it's about finding new ways to contribute to your community, recognizing that giving often creates its own form of meaningful connection.

As you navigate this holiday season and enter the new year, consider how you might nurture the relationships that truly matter to you. The darkness of winter reminds us that light often shines brightest when shared with others. In coming together – whether in traditional gatherings or in new, creative ways – we create possibilities for hope, healing, and renewal.

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Navigating Holiday Depression with Self-Compassion